Saturday, June 14, 2008

From the Ann Coulter Diaries

Yeah, I read Ann Coulter. Kind of like the "fight them over there" mentality, I read Ann so you don't have to.

But this post was so absurd, I could even believe I was actually reading it. I was morbidly curious and anxiously waiting for the punch line

"... yes, the man responsible for keeping Americans safe from another terrorist attack on American soil for nearly seven years now will go down in history as one of America's greatest presidents."
Are you serious Ann? He will go down in history as one of the biggest mistakes America ever made.
To coin a phrase from my favorite male prostitute/white house press corp "journalist", is Ann "divorced from reality?"
" Merely taking out Saddam Hussein and his winsome sons Uday and Qusay (Hussein family slogan: "We're the Rape Room People!") constitutes a greater humanitarian accomplishment than anything Bill Clinton ever did -- and I'm including remembering Monica's name on the sixth sexual encounter."
Saddam the big bad guy. Basically we invaded a soverign nation. Funny Ann doesn't mention Bush's failure to capture the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, a 6 foot tall arab with a trick kidney, Osama Bin Laden.
"But unlike liberals, who are so anxious to send American troops to Rwanda or Darfur, Republicans oppose deploying U.S. troops for purely humanitarian purposes. We invaded Iraq to protect America."
Yet, when Clinton DIDN'T send troops for purely humanitarian purposes, the Repukes got their tightie whities in a binch.
"It is unquestionable that Bush has made this country safe by keeping Islamic lunatics pinned down fighting our troops in Iraq. In the past few years, our brave troops have killed more than 20,000 al-Qaida and other Islamic militants in Iraq alone. That's 20,000 terrorists who will never board a plane headed for JFK -- or a landmark building, for that matter. We are, in fact, fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them at, say, the corner of 72nd and Columbus in Manhattan -- the mere mention of which never fails to enrage liberals, which is why you should say it as often as possible."
Why you should say it as often as possible, is because it is the ONLY thing the Repukes have. Still no mention of Bin Laden.....
"The Iraq war has been a stunning success. The Iraqi army is "standing up" (as they say), fat Muqtada al-Sadr --the Dr. Phil of Islamofascist radicalism -- has waddled off in retreat to Iran, and Sadr City and Basra are no longer war zones. Our servicemen must be baffled by the constant nay-saying coming from their own country."
Stunning success? I have yet to find one single article, one single publication, one single report of congress that concurs with our fair maiden Ann.....
And I guess one could say "waddled off in retreat to Iran" is clever Ann-speak for "has evaded our pursuit, yet again."
"Monthly casualties in Iraq now come in slightly lower than a weekend with Anna Nicole Smith. According to a CNN report last week, for the entire month of May, there were only 19 troop deaths in Iraq. (Last year, five people on average were shot every day in Chicago.) With Iraqi deaths at an all-time low, Iraq is safer than Detroit -- although the Middle Eastern food is still better in Detroit."
I have never had Middle Eastern food in Detroit, so I am not sure about that. But comparing front line deaths and casualties to people getting shot in Chicago, is a little misleading. Comparatively speaking the ratios to Chicago residents to troops, the troop deaths outnumber Chicago shootings. Plus, a death to shooting deaths comparason would be more accurate. And, the Anna Nicole Smith mention was low, even for Ann. Maybe she should have said "monthly casualties in Iraq now come in slightly lower than the number of gay Republican Congressmen who solicit young pages, or strangers in airport bathrooms."
"Al-Qaida is virtually destroyed, surprising even the CIA."......" It's almost as if there's been some sort of "surge" going on, as strange as that sounds. Just this week, The New York Times reported that al-Qaida and other terrorist groups in Southeast Asia have all but disappeared, starved of money and support. The U.S. and Australia have been working closely with the Philippines, Malaysia and Indonesia, sending them counterterrorism equipment and personnel. But no one notices when 9/11 doesn't happen."
I think al-Qaida "scattered" is a much more accurate analysis. Yet no mention of the Taliban. In fact, this week hundreds of Taliban escaped from prison in Afghanistan. Remember Afghanistan Ann???????? Yeah, Bush doesn't either.
Yeah, kind of how no one notices when 9/11 didn't happen on Clinton's watch. He had his 9/11 in 1993, and thrwarted another attack on LAX. But lets not talk about Clinton's successes. (balancing the budget, reforming welfare, unsurpassed times of peace, etc.) Lets just don't forget to mention Monica in an article Ann. I mean, that is news.....
But liberals have only blind hatred for Bush -- and for those brute American interrogators who do not supply extra helpings of béarnaise sauce to the little darlings at Guantanamo with sufficient alacrity."
Just because the consitution is on soft supple paper, does NOT mean you can wipe your ass with it. And I am pretty sure that people like McCain would have a problem with the US giving the finger to the Geneva Convention. I know for a fact you would not want a captured US soldier to be treated like we have treated enemy combatants. Rendention, torture, etc. It isn't okay just cause we do it. There is no excuse.
"The sheer repetition of lies about Bush is wearing people down. There is not a liberal in this country worthy of kissing Bush's rear end, but the weakest members of the herd run from Bush. Compared to the lickspittles denying and attacking him, "
I wouldn't walk across the street to shake Bush's hand, much less want to kiss his ass. I don't know anyone who would want to.
"Bush is a moral giant -- if that's not damning with faint praise. John McCain should be so lucky as to be running for Bush's third term. Then he might have a chance."
A moral giant. Holy shit. This man gave orders from the Oval Office to committ treason. This man gave the order to spy on Americans. This man gave the order to wage war against a soverign nation that had nothing to do with 9/11. This man hired Brownie, among other completely incompetent and unworthy Bushites. Abu-Garab, no bid contracts, numerous "homosexual" scandals, billions of American tax dollars missing in Iraq, strong-arming whistleblowers, Alberto Gonzo, stolen elections and disinfranchised American voters, on and on and on.....
No matter how you twist it, those are the facts.
I hope John McCain runs for Bush's "third term". He will remind the American voters of the continuous failures of the Bush administration. Too many to list.

Ann keeps writing this shit so people will read. We can't help but find insanity in the off the wall, crazy, stupid crap she is going to say. I guess when we stop reading and stop watching her almost crack-infused interviews, she will just disappear into the nothingness.
We can only hope.

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